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The First of Many

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So I woke up this morning just as pissed as when I layed down. I’m 27 years old im married with 3 kids. And I won’t say I’m miserable but I’m damn sure not happy. This is not what I wanted. I thought I did but noooooo absolutely not at least not like this. It’s all wrong. Now correct me if I’m wrong but you are supposed to love your husband right relationships or shall I say marriage’s are supposed to be about compromise right? Well then WTF am I doing wrong I mean don’t get me wrong after my son I did have a little extra weight but it’s not like it’s in the wrong places. And hello I did just Carry a baby for 9 months . Let me just say this having a baby is no fucking walk in the damn park and after the baby is even worse. You know the best thing you could do for your wife or baby maker after the have your seed love them and when I say love them I mean pack it on thick make sure it’s to much love smother them with love and support for the next year. They will really appreciate it. Im going through this whole I hate my body thing and damn why am I so sad all the time thing it really sucks. And then I have a very selfish husband who claims he doesn’t understand woman and their emotions. Its like first of all the only emotions I need you to understand are mine. I want him to stop making excuses for not knowing how to love me. I feel like I made a mistake telling him everything about my life. Everybody is always saying I’m real I’m real but when you ask them about real shit they don’t want to talk about it or it’s the past and blah blah blah. MEN news flash you have feelings you have emotions it’s ok let’s talk about them lets connect on a more deeper level thats beyond sexual or something as simple as being a good provider or a good father. Communication is the key right then why does it seem my honesty sends you into a I don’t understand woman rage why is when I ask to leave you say no like you got something going on for us. Is me sitting watching you play videogames online with your friends supposed to be a date for me or am I simply the person who watches the kids while you play or untill tax time when you need dependents to claim. – Glenwood Mommy

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